Fun now, kids later.

>> Friday, February 12, 2010

I recently came across a paper I wrote in collage. The subject was the pros and cons of having condom machines in the public bathrooms.
Do they even have those anymore?

You know the ones…big metal boxes that dispensed Trojan lubricated latex condoms.

It was a big deal because you could buy a condom, without anyone ever knowing.

You’d plunk in 50 cents, out would drop this blue square with its roundness bulging out. Like a wrapped raspberry sucker, with the stick missing. It was kind of fun, squishing the lubed ring around inside its wrapper.

That’s about all I ever did with the thing.
My condom just hid in my wallet for years, until the day I had to toss it, expired and unrecognizable

Now being in my 30’s, married with kids, I could just run up to the drug store and buy a box. Any kind I want, glow in the dark, ECSTASY ribbed for her pleasure…etc etc…

That is if I even needed one, which I don’t, IUD is a wonderful thing.

All this made me think, what are the “Pros and Cons” of running across a condom dispenser at different stages in life?


Pro- You buy one and impress all your friends.

Con- Your mom finds it.


Pro- You buy one, for “just in case.”

Con- Your BFF swipes it for her “just in case.”


Pro- It makes a great impromptu balloon animal to entertain the screaming kid.

Con- You have to explain, to the kid that can read what a condom is.


Pro- you buy one, shove it in your BFF’s face, while franticly gasping; “look what I found in YOUR daughters back pack.

Con- You get punched in the nose for scaring the crap out of your BFF.


Pro- You buy one to show off to your friends that you’re still young enough to need one.

Con- Your teen finds it.


Pro- A condom machine is a great place to set your purse while you wash your hands.

Con- You have know Idea what you did with you purse.


Pro- makes a great impromptu bunion pad.

Con- you have absolutely no other use for it.


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