>> Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. ~Not Your Average Dictionary
I once wondered why God would condemn me with three boys.
Yes, Condemn… after seeing what my brother put my mother through growing up, I couldn’t think of a worse fate.
In my mind, this was punishment for all my past sins. I was about to be pummeled, or so I imagined.
The first time I was informed that I was expecting a demon boy child, I cried, hard, for hours.
By the time the second was spawned, I was ok with it. Even though I had prayed vigorously for a girl, I had to admit, I kind of liked how the first one was turning out.
Boy, Oh boy, Oh boy! Then came # three…another Boy! Whatever God.
Again my daily prayer was for just a little pink in my life. Like that was way too much to ask for?
I go to church; I'm a good mom, and wife. Why did God hate me so?!
But God knows better then I, and was pummeling, *ahem* I mean, blessing me.
I have accepted my fate, and will take it like a Man… I WANT MY MOMMY!
Now that the evil demon spawn are getting older… It’s becoming a bit clearer to me, Gods plan.
Growing up with a brother and uncles, I have developed a taste, for the fine art of, fart humor.
Aww Fart humor, takes me back to my youth. Oh the Joys of being 7, marching down the hot sidewalk, single file, singing childhood songs.
What a sight we must have been… a couple of teen age boys, a little blonde freckled face girl, with a little cubby cheeked 5 year old in tow.
We had such a good time, stomping our feet, and shouting as loud as we could.
“MY BOOTS ARE HEAVY, MY PANTS ARE TIGHT, AND MY BALLS ARE SWINGING FROM THE LEFT TO THE RIGHT!"
"TO THE LEFT!…TO THE LEFT!… TO THE LEFT RIGHT LEFT!”
I remember thinking…
How my balls could be swinging, if my pants are so tight…maybe there in my boots…that must be why they are so heavy.
So when my boys are running around, pulling fingers, sniffing farts, and gagging each other with their pits, I get such a kick out of it.
I can’t help it, I’m ruff around the edges, I guess…so shot me.
I bust a gut when my 4 year old “moons” his older brothers.
“a monkey ate your butt!” or
“do you want to lick my toe jam?”
Just get an eye roll, and a smiling head shake from me.
My husband however thinks this is completely unacceptable behavior…what a stick in the mud.
As long as there not doing it in school or church…who cares?
They are BOYS, they are mine, and I am so blessed.
The greatest poem ever known
Is one all poets have outgrown:
The poetry, innate, untold,
Of being only four years old.
~Christopher Morley, To a Child
p.s. #4 was baby girl...you better belive it! I mean after all...God owes me big!