Don't make me go all "Lara Croft" on your dumb-ass

>> Monday, March 15, 2010

It’s a crying shame I’m not aloud to pack a shot gun with me at all times. I would have loved to use it today on this stupid Mother….No I’m not cussing here. Just someone’s daft Mother.

Yes. I am being judgmental and maybe I’m up on my high horse. Never-the-less some parents should just be SHOT. If only to save the lives of their offspring.

Let me be the first to say (before someone else does) I am far from a perfect parent. Some Supper-anal up-tight parents may even say (I know you're saying it) I’m a bit Lax in that department. Read here about my lack of patenting talents.

Even I, am amazed at times, when it comes to the plain stupidity of some parents (if you can even call them that).

Okay, here’s a thought…maybe they are not so stupid, but instead very clever and the whole “moronic mommy” bit is a ruse. As I see it, if you really hated your kids and wanted them dead, looking like a “Dumb-ass” parent is a brilliant cover up for your sick sinister plan.

Those are the only reasons I can think of, for a mother to blatantly put her child’s life at risk.

*Moronic dumb-ass or Sinister lunatic cockroach* you make the call.

Why I didn’t pull out my phone and report her. I don’t. I don’t know. Maybe I’m the moronic dumb-ass here? I was just fantasizing about having a shot gun to blow her blonde empty head off with. Why do I always go to extremes? I am…well embarrassed, damn I don’t know. Too late to do anything differently now.

I imagine you are probably wondering what I am getting all “holier then thou” about.

First let me just say I have never been a fan of little kids riding ATVs. Be-it pint sized dirt bikes, three wheelers, quads or another such motorized death machine. Although my friends that enjoy this family *cringe* sport always use all the precautions and safety gear and such. Read- smart parenting. They use the Brain God gave them and so far (knocking wood) all their kids are still in one piece.

Then there is this unspeakable peace of codswallop I saw today on my walk.

At first I didn’t see the three maybe four-year-old a-top a FULL SIZED Jacked up quad (4 wheel all-terrain vehicle, for those of us that don’t know ATV speak). I didn’t see him because he was SO. DAMN. SMALL. And the ATV was SO. EFFING. BIG. he was NOT. WEARING. HELMENT.

Hell, his legs weren’t long enough to even straddle the thing. He was all cock-eyed and stretched out on the beast. It had all the makings for a reenactment of “I shouldn’t be alive.” I ponder this as I watch in amazement this small boy ZOOM ZOOM around his yard.

Where the heck are his parents?  Maybe his mom is off reading Twilight or something?   Oh…there... that must be his…

Mother with the leaf blower… She has come around the corner just as he jerks to a stop, which lifts his little bum into the air and sets him back a foot on the seat.

This small child pulls himself back up and revs the engine, Vroom Vroom.

I’m convinced that “Mom” will rip his little tail off the thing before he’s kicked off and run over by it. (It’s happened before you know, seen it on the news, little kids killed, very sad)

I stop predicting this child’s death, breath and continue on my walk. Happy not to have to give my eye witness account to the police.

Until…here it comes…ready or not…she yells at him… and I am not kidding... I quote...


Did she? Did she really just say that? I wanted to vomit. The motor? The EFFING MOTOR? 
Really? Wow. F-Me who’d have thought, eh?  I feel like I'm on the coner of W-T-F and R-U-Kidding me!

How about his Head-Neck-Brain? How about TBI?  How about Effing Traumatic Effing Brain injury?

This is where I fantasize about reaching over my head, behind my back, pulling a huge-ass shot gun out of my waist band (Think Lara Croft meets more-to-love). Swing the silver gun around take-aim-and BLAM!

I’m the good citizen /hero saving this child from his inevatable tragic death by dumb-ass Mother…

OK-ok, so blowing her head off makes me no better then her. Right? After all I don’t. I don’t know her from Adam. I’m sorry. She just made me angry. It’s nothing personal. I bet she’s really nice and a fine parent. I have totally misjudged her

Heh, just kidding…she’s a moron.


Naughty Mommy March 16, 2010 at 2:26 AM  

Holy $*** That's crazy! 4 yrs old, by himself and no helmet. Some people need a kick in the pants, that's mild to what I'm really thinking.

Melissa Papaj Photography March 16, 2010 at 5:51 AM  

The joys of watching stupid parents...I am always amazed at the things other people do or don't do for their kids. Thanks for stopping by my blog last night :)

Shell March 16, 2010 at 6:54 AM  

OMG, that's insane.

Judge away, that's nuts.

More than a Mom March 16, 2010 at 7:19 AM  

Funny post, but I TOTALLY agree! I wish we could revoke the "parent card" some people have. Too bad those are handed out in the hospitals upon delivery.

MommyLovesStilettos March 16, 2010 at 8:09 AM  

WOW!!! I don't even let my kids get on 4 wheelers at a SLOW speed with an adult. Anything can happen, and they are just NOT old enough. That is SAD.

Rebecca March 16, 2010 at 11:25 PM  

Stopping by from SITS!

That story is just incredibly unbelievable! I mean, believable, because yes, there are some people out there that just shouldn't be parents and really are just that stupid, but oh man, you summed up my thoughts pretty well on the subject, lol.

Come by if you get the chance:

Debbie March 17, 2010 at 11:50 AM  

That's crazy! I hope she reads this! (do you think she knows how to read?)

veterankindergartenteacher March 17, 2010 at 6:45 PM  

I had a student who ended up with a head injury from one of those things!

Kyrstin March 18, 2010 at 1:50 PM  

I agree!! Thanks for following me from FF. I am following you back!

Life Is A SandCastle March 20, 2010 at 9:59 AM  

A few years back the neighbors let there 10 yr ride at night. He did not make it & now they have to live with it. Thanks for visiting my site:)

McVal March 22, 2010 at 12:37 PM  

Whoa! She was more concerned about the motor than her kid? Well, that's just scary!

Cindy May 6, 2010 at 10:00 AM  

You should still report it, it will happen again and maybe this time the little guy wont be so lucky. In AK a few years back a dad let his 6 year old ride a snow machine way to big for him and being 6 he let it fly balls to the wall right into a ditch. Dead boy, heart broke dad!

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