Little life lessons, learned the hard way~ Complements

>> Monday, March 8, 2010

Michelle's little Life lessons, learned the hard way.
 #1: Complements.

There is no effect more disproportionate to its cause than the happiness bestowed by a small compliment. ~Robert Brault


Complements are~ Free, easy, low fat, and Full of Joy, what’s better then that?


As a rule you should give 3 complements a day. Not only do you brighten someone’s day, you bring yourself a little bit of joy to boot.

I never use to give complements…neverever. My twisted thinking was…Why should I say nice things? People should give me complements, I’m the shy one.

“Shy?” That’s just a nice way of saying that I came across as a big-rude selfish-bitch. My insecurities, poor self image, and social anxiety prevented me from seeing out side of myself. Poor little ol me....The mind reels.

If I liked someone’s hair, thought they were smart, or awesome at something, I assumed they knew that. After all, they know themselves better then I do, they must know how wonderful they are.

The sad facts are, I hated them for being pretty, smart, and put together, I sure the heck wasn’t going to reinforce their wonderfulness.

I felt everyone was better then I was, so being the lesser, I didn’t have to make the effort. Plus I had my pride … didn’t want to be seen as a “kiss butt, brown nosier, or a follower.

I didn’t need anyone; I was tough, cool and could care-less what anyone thought of me. Yeah sure, if you believe that, I know of a Lottery Company in which presently owes you the sum of $800,000.00 US Dollars and all you have to do to claim the money is send me the FedEx fee of $150.00.

For most of my life I was always dyeing to be liked, to be noticed, to make friends and be excepted for who I was. It was just too hard to put myself out there…for fear of rejection, and looking a fool.

So I went with the “Bitch” look, it works for Naomi Campbell right?

Now I’m a grown up, wife, and mother…God’s been doing some work on me over the last dozen years....I'v gotten over my big bad bitchy self. 

I have learned, beneath every Mad is Sadness, behind a bitchy snob is insecurities, and under ugly is God’s beauty. However there is evil, and you should just steer clear of that Sh*t!

Today, I no longer feel envy pains; well they’re not so strong that I can’t ignore them. So giving a complement or three is no sweat, saying something nice is not longer all that hard.

If I’m thinking that Denise’s hair looks exceptionally shiny and soft today, and she must have gotten that hair spray build up problem she told me about, taken care of…I tell her. Well not the part about the build up, not that I ever even noticed she had a problem with it.

“Hey Denise, your hair is looking exceptionally shiny and sexy hot today.” Yes I’m a dork, and I don’t care!
If I’m thinking it any more, I say it (the nice things that is) We all love complements…you know you do, I know I do, a good old ol kind word, can make my day…
So as a rule: give at least three complements a day, and mean them!

What’s the point? Why should you?

Because you never know who might be feeling ugly on the inside.

God was just showing off when he created you. ~From the movie Keeping the Faith




17 comments:

Kel March 8, 2010 at 9:05 AM  

I like the idea! I have my children do the same thing too. They are usually better about remembering than me. :)

Together We Save March 8, 2010 at 1:55 PM  

Stopping by from SITS to say hello.

IASoupMama March 8, 2010 at 2:33 PM  

I also think that under a lot of MAD is FEAR. I try to keep that in mind and put myself in that person's shoes -- a little reassurance goes a long way...

And here is a compliment for you: life-long learners are the best teachers -- good job!

Anything Fits a Naked Man March 8, 2010 at 2:47 PM  

I love this philosophy! I've started complimenting when I can, and I'm really amazed at the results! The cashier at Walmart, when I complimented her painted nails, blushed and smiled and told me that I made her day! Cool stuff, huh?

Thanks for sharing this, it's a GREAT reminder!!

Drea March 8, 2010 at 8:16 PM  

My aunt tells me the same thing (about under every emotion is something else), and when I can stay level headed, I remember that and it helps me to not be snide and nasty right back. Or that sometimes the best thing to do is keep quiet, because continuing a conversation will sometimes do more harm than good (and everyone loves to think they had the successful last word, nothing wrong with keeping up that idea!)

I need to start giving three compliments a day. I'll start with you. From my limited experience, you handle things gracefully, and like a grown up. Sometimes, that's not the easiest thing to do. I was impressed.

Danielle March 9, 2010 at 7:00 AM  

Giving compliments does make you feel good. I agree. Why is it so hard for most of us to do. Strange, but great post!

covnitkepr1 March 9, 2010 at 10:29 AM  

It's so much easier to be nice. Takes less facial muscles to smile than top frown...so why not be pleasant. I'm following your blog.

aladdinsane12 March 9, 2010 at 7:54 PM  

thank for stopping by my blog!

i totally agree with the compliments thing- i really need to start doing that more. lots of times i'll think things but not say them and what's the point of that?? by the way, you have a beautiful blog! (one down- and i meant it, too!)

Tortuga March 9, 2010 at 8:37 PM  

What a wonderful idea! I do love getting compliments and I love giving them too. Nothing brightens my day better than watching someone go from down to smiling!

Karen March 9, 2010 at 9:19 PM  

I would to thank you for being so open and honest as to who you were and who you have become. I think many of us women can relate to what you have spoken of.

Passed by from SITS
On the Brink de la Locura

Much Luv,
Karen

Lady Jane March 10, 2010 at 2:31 AM  

Great idea!
I am super shy so it takes a lot for me to complement complete strangers. Friends are always easy.

Debbie March 10, 2010 at 6:10 AM  

What a great idea to give three compliments a day. Wouldn't we all be happier if everyone did that?
Came over from SITS.

Linda March 10, 2010 at 11:37 AM  

This is a great idea, just make sure they come from the heart and are honest.

Ma What's 4 dinner March 10, 2010 at 1:02 PM  

So where do I send that Fed Ex package again? And do you fedex that $ back to me? Can I get a tracking number???

You are awesome and I love this idea. We could all use a little love.

Stopping by from SITS
Alex aka Ma Whats for Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com

More than a Mom March 13, 2010 at 5:35 AM  

I'm in. I will try to give 3compliments a day. Thanks for the challenge and new outlook! Following back from FF!

Anonymous,  June 5, 2010 at 12:05 AM  

Hi
Very nice and intrestingss story.

Anonymous,  October 13, 2010 at 11:45 AM  

Sorry for my bad english. Thank you so much for your good post. Your post helped me in my college assignment, If you can provide me more details please email me.

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