Trust me, you will not be tight and perky forever

>> Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Lecture to my 19 year old self, from a much older and wiser 37 year old self.


Michelle sweety, you foolish foolish girl, are you kidding me with this guy, what are you thinking? You deserve so much better then your Freak of a boyfriend! Could you just PLEASE dump that pathetic looser already!? I mean come on, have some self respect!

The guy is 22 rides a skate board and lives with his mother for Christ sakes! He will never be sponsored for his “skate boarding” talents, and will NEVER get a job. The only people who think he's cool, other then himself, are you and his prepubescence skater fans.

 Any man that will “hang out” with you on the condition that it is RAINING OUT SIDE is not someone you want to have your 75 children with. No amount of “Pink Floyd and Grateful dead” T-Shirts or LP’s will make him a true Hippie or a Man for that matter.

The fact that he spends his “Allowance” on POT, and skate board parts, is very sad and frankly ridiculous.  Not to mention HE’S A GROWN MAN WITH AN ALLOWANCE!

Can we talk about his hair for a bit? Seriously?…The man does NOT have dread locks! Face it girlfriend…he is just to dammed lazy to brush the knots out of that far-to-long nasty mop.

Why are you so blind girl? Or are you just that stupid!? He says he loves you, yes….but lets be honest honey, it’s your tight tail and perky tittys he’s truly in love with. Trust me, you will not be tight and perky forever, such a shame to waist it on this doosh bag. Ok maybe I’m being a little bit harsh... there IS more he loves about you; he loves your CAR and MONEY as well.

No matter how much you “Love” him back, he will never grow up and leave his skate board for you! Get a grip sister, open your eyes and grow a spine…he’s sucking you dry.

You need to Kick his overgrown playground-rat BUTT to the Curb!

Oh and By the way, do you really think he was "just talking" to that girl you found him naked with in the hot tub?  You poor foolish girl...

36 comments:

Wife to the Rockstar March 10, 2010 at 2:28 PM  

You crack me. I think we would have been friends back then.

Wym March 10, 2010 at 6:05 PM  

don't we all wish we received this letter? Lord knows I DO!!

Ma What's 4 dinner March 11, 2010 at 6:40 AM  

Oh if we only knew. I remember everyone asking me why I was with my "going thru a bad boy stage boyfriend" and I'd say, "oh, you just don't understand, you don't know what it's like when we're alone together..." I assume that's what all the girls he was with at the time said too. You mean he wasn't just helping that girl find her contact on the bed????

:) You're a great writer. I can't wait to come back and read more!


Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com

Bethany March 11, 2010 at 3:52 PM  

If only we could have done our teen years with the wisdom we have now...

Transparent Mama March 11, 2010 at 8:26 PM  

That is great! Too bad we could't really go back and help ourselves. Coming by from SITS. Love that picture of you. Lovely.

B Sparkly March 11, 2010 at 8:28 PM  

God only knows how many of this guys I just wish i can forget,,,I was so stuiped:( oh well such is life.
Stopping by from SITS!
I'm now a new follower:) Come see me at my blog.
Anat

Andye March 11, 2010 at 9:13 PM  

This is cracking me up! I could definitely have that talk with my 18-year-old self!!! And I think our pictures are pretty similar! haha

~Andye

KimJohnson March 12, 2010 at 4:34 AM  

Oh if only we knew then what we know now, right? I swear I was the dumbest teenager on the planet!

Missy March 12, 2010 at 11:12 AM  

I love these letters to the past self. I have to do one. Following from Friday Follow!

MommyLovesStilettos March 12, 2010 at 12:10 PM  

Stopping over from SITS. I love this post!!

Tanja March 12, 2010 at 12:31 PM  

following back from Tanja's cupcakes! I like your blog and I'm looking forward to reading it! Have a great weekend.

Cara and Jenn March 12, 2010 at 2:04 PM  

Yikes harsh letter to yourself but all unfortunately so true. I did the same thing except I wrote to my 16 year old self..I went a little easier on me though! lol

http://forwardmom.blogspot.com/2010/02/cara-letter-to-my-16-year-old-self.html

Shell March 12, 2010 at 3:35 PM  

OMG, that's hilarious! What a shame that we can't reall write letters to our younger selves and have them be delivered!

veterankindergartenteacher March 12, 2010 at 4:55 PM  

I found your blog on Friday Follow! Have a wonderful week-end!

Renee March 12, 2010 at 5:27 PM  

I had to jump over when I saw your comment at SITS with a link to this post! Your title made me smile and your post made me laugh. If only I could have read this 3 years ago! Do all 19 year old girls have to date guys like this?

Matthew T. March 12, 2010 at 7:20 PM  

Interesting post. Layout is interesting. Dating is sure not the easiest thing in the world.

Alyssa March 12, 2010 at 7:25 PM  

I am new follower from Friday Follow.This was a great post too funny!!! LOVE your blog! Hope you have a great weekend and I am sure I will be back to visit very soon

Freely Living Life March 12, 2010 at 8:24 PM  

Good evening! :)

We're stopping by from the FF to say hello and wish you a beautiful and relaxing weekend! Come on over and visit the Freely Living Life Family when you have some down time. We already are followers of your blog and look forward to coming by to see you again soon! <3 ((hugs))

Brea March 13, 2010 at 2:49 AM  

Hi Michelle!

Thanks for stopping by my blog and for your kind comments.

I'm not sure I've got this FF thing quite down yet, but I'm getting there!

Love your blog, and can't wait to read more. I'm now a follower.

Sinful Southern Sweets March 13, 2010 at 3:38 AM  

LOL! I sooo could have written this to myself at 16...but mine was a drummer:) Thank goodness I woke up!

Jessica @ Barefoot by the Sea March 13, 2010 at 6:39 AM  

LOVE your blog!
Just became a follower - love it! Thanks
www.barefootbysea.blogspot.com

Erin March 13, 2010 at 8:56 AM  

I could have written this to myself! Thanks for the laugh and thanks for the Friday Follow. Following you back. Have a great weekend.

Debbie March 13, 2010 at 9:02 AM  

Brilliantly said - someone should've sent me a letter like that when I was 19!

Thanks for the FF :)

Serendipity is Sweet March 13, 2010 at 12:27 PM  

Lol, funny post. I'm following from FF :)
Have a great weekend!

Optimal Optimist March 13, 2010 at 2:11 PM  

Hi! Thanks for checking out my blog! Yours is great- I'll be coming back to read more! have a great day : )

Feeling Fit With Dana March 13, 2010 at 6:47 PM  

Love your blog, very funny post! Hope you took your own advice :). Stopping by from Friday Follow!

Lacie @ Creative Attempts March 13, 2010 at 9:04 PM  

ah the things we would tell our younger selves like don't marry him lol

Velvet Over Steel March 13, 2010 at 11:20 PM  

That was awesome! Wish I knew then what I know now... like we all do! Great post and blog! Glad I found you and I will be back soon to read more! :-)
~ Coreen
www.velvetoversteel.com

Kat March 14, 2010 at 1:09 PM  

Ouch! You are so hard on your poor, naive, young, tight, self. ;)
Hehehe!

jackie March 14, 2010 at 2:39 PM  

Hope your having a great day! I have something for you over at my blog.

http://blahblah-jackie1097.blogspot.com/2010/03/another-award.html

Brittany at Mommy Words March 14, 2010 at 6:55 PM  

So funny! I definitely wasted some of my best days myself! Wish I could have read this then! My mom telling me just didn't cut it!

Following from FF!

Denise March 15, 2010 at 6:23 AM  

Isn't it funny how we and our standards have changed through the years?
Stopping by from SITS to say Hi to a SITSah!
Stop by for a visit:
http://extremepersonalmeasures.blogspot.com/

LisaDay March 15, 2010 at 7:57 AM  

If we did receive this letter, we would ignore it as we know the man best.

Stopping by from SITS>

LisaDay

Ms Bibi March 15, 2010 at 10:25 AM  

You're hilarious. I could use a letter like this back then...maybe I could save myself some heartbreak now,lol.

Eclipsed March 15, 2010 at 2:51 PM  

Somedays I wish I could go back and just shake myself. Aside from my terrible hair and clothes, I made some poor choices.

I'm your newest follower. You have a great blog here.

I'm having a giveaway (my first and I'm a touch nervous) if you're interested.

http://completelyeclipsed.blogspot.com/2010/03/rachael-ray-cookware-giveaway.html

Safe Home Happy Mom March 15, 2010 at 3:44 PM  

I am your latest follower from a late Friday Follow and I applaud what you are doing here.

Whenever you get a chance head on to my blog at www.safehomehappymom.com

There are so many giveaways you can enter.

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