Life's lessons learned the hard way...Get a BackBone

>> Monday, April 12, 2010

This post brought to you by your backbone.

Do you say what you feel, mean, want?

Or do you say what people want to hear?
Don’t want to rock the boat?
Don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings?

Are you a, go with the flow, yes man?
Don’t want to cause problems, People pleaser?

Are you?...whoever you are?

I did... I was...I let people walk all over me…worried they would be mad, not like me…didn't want to stand out, or up...blah blah blah…I was a people pleasing Sissy la la!

Now being a mother of 4 and on the down side of 30 I don’t take as much crap as I use to.  I'm a much kinder person now...Huh?... go figure.

Sometimes being popular is not always right, and what’s right isn’t always popular. Not everyone likes you…just face it.  If you want to be understood, say what you mean.

Not saying what you feel, mean, want, or not standing up for what you know is right, you are giving a false impression of who you are. If you don’t respect yourself enough to let people really know who you are, how are they ever going to respect you?

If you challenge nothing, never give anyone grief, and don’t express who you really are, you bring out the worst in people. Hiding under the façade of being a pleaser, allowing them to walk all over you sucking your blood dry.

Then what do we do when people take advantage of us? We Bitch…you know you do…bitch about them to anyone who will listen.
What kind of evil person to take advantage of such a giving selfless person as yourself.
How dare they!
Playing the victim are we?

We are such martyrs! Creating the Monster then crying and bitching when the Monsters Bites!

How many times do you give money to the one who can’t budget?

How many times must that boy at the play date bite your kid before you stop going?

How many years do you waste on that guy (gal) that treats you like garbage?


How long will you let them bash your friend before speaking up?

How many times will you say Yes, when you really want to say No.

How many times will you listen to them bitch about being a poor victim before you Tell them to get a backbone?

How many? Just give me a number.



16 comments:

Anything Fits a Naked Man April 12, 2010 at 4:25 PM  

My backbone tends to come and go, but it can get pretty rigid if you hurt someone I love!

Marlene April 12, 2010 at 5:17 PM  

Oh I know where you're coming from. I used to be the people pleaser extraordinaire. Now I say exactly what I mean....and have often been accused of being "blunt". Hey - at least it's ME. :)

Diana April 12, 2010 at 7:14 PM  

OMG... you wrote this for me! I never needed to read this more than I do right at his moment. I hope you don't mind if I print it out... for my own use of course, giving your blog address credit.

Thank you!

Bossy Betty April 12, 2010 at 7:47 PM  

I've gotten better at speaking up at the years go by. Now I just have to balance that with shutting up when I really should.... Ah, it's all a balancing act, isn't it?

Wym April 12, 2010 at 8:44 PM  

I think the closer to 40, the more this makes sense! Too bad your 20 year old self couldn't get it!

Twee Poppets April 13, 2010 at 1:32 PM  

Stopping by a bit late from Friday Follow! I'm following you now. Hope you'll have a chance to come follow me back! :)

http://tweepoppets.blogspot.com
http://twitter.com/tweepoppets

I have a great giveaway going on right now for a $10 gift card to the Sweet as Pie Creations Etsy shop - I hope you'll come enter! :)

Shannon E. Kennedy April 13, 2010 at 2:53 PM  

I say "I'm sorry" wayyy to much. I take the blame for things that clearly are not my fault. (how did you know) :) this was good for me to read! Thanks!

Frugal Science Gal April 16, 2010 at 1:48 AM  

I am new to Friday Follow and one of your newest Followers! I look forward to reading your blog and please check out my blog! :-)

http://frugalsciencegal.blogspot.com/

Frugal Science Gal April 16, 2010 at 1:48 AM  

I am new to Friday Follow and one of your newest Followers! I look forward to reading your blog and please check out my blog! :-)

http://frugalsciencegal.blogspot.com/

Robyn Campbell April 16, 2010 at 4:06 AM  

I say I'm sorry A LOT! And then I repeat it it at least three times to the same person. ONCE SHOULD BE ENOUGH.

Nice blog. I am Friday following. Love to have you over for a visit. I am on a blog break right now, while preparing my middle grade novel manuscript so I can query agents.=)

Mom et al April 16, 2010 at 7:03 AM  

Hi, I'm your newest Friday follower!

Come visit me at Mom-et-al.com

-Maria


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Jenna April 16, 2010 at 9:28 AM  

Here from FF! I'm your newest follower. I'd love it if you could come visit/follow me at www.momsbalancingact.com

Have a great day!

Robyn Jones April 16, 2010 at 11:11 AM  

Hi, I'm new to Friday Follow and new to your blog as well...very well said by the way... :D I think I have too much back bone...results of growing up with too much crap... :)

MelissaAggie98 April 16, 2010 at 2:20 PM  

Happy FF! Just stopping by to say hello!

Debbie April 18, 2010 at 10:45 AM  

I'm careful to pick my battles... but when you press my buttons, you better watch out! Sparks fly. My husband is always speechless when he sees his remarkably calm wife lose it in public.

Kelly L April 18, 2010 at 3:09 PM  

Great post! I used to be a people pleaser - now not so much. I do want to be nice and do what is right but sometimes that is not always pleasing to others..

loved your post.

Kelly
http://www.ivebecomemymother.com

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