Blame it ALL on this piss poor Weather!

>> Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Hey did y’all see the weather map this morning? Pretty nice eh? Don’t ya just love spring?



Well do ya see all that blue in the upper left, that’s me. See me waving; I am, waving franticly there in Washington State, look close right there under the big 51. Yup, that’s me waving the bird at the other half of the map.

When the sun fails to come out of the clouds, my 12 year old fails to get out of bed and miss’ the bus.

So in the down pour I am forced to drive his butt to school, oh Joy.

Saying a small prayer I don’t get pulled over racing off to the middle school. Heck any cop that saw me would just feel sorry for me and let me off, seeing me all disheveled and braless in my P.J.s.

Now most middle school kids would be horrified to be seen with their mom in this condition, a fate worse than death. Not with my kid, he don’t care, He thinks I’m a laugh a minute.

If you have ever had the pleasure of braving the parking lot of a school, you understand the mass panic to quickly shove your kid out the door and drive off to avoid ticking off the frantic line of parents trying to do the same.

But of course nothing comes easy for me.

“Ok get ready, as soon as I stop jump out.” I instruct my son.

As my 120lb 5 foot 4” 12 year old bolts from the car he yanks his 500lb back pack off the floor of the van, causing an avalanche of crap to spill out after it. Discarded Starbuck cups, Zhu Zhu pet packaging and other such trash spill out on to the ground.

My son stands there looking at it baffled, “just pick it up and toss it back in the car!” I scream over the pelting showers, glancing over my shoulder at the waiting traffic jam behind me. No way in Hell am I getting out of this van!

At first I think he is crying as he chucks the run-a-way trash back in the van. Oh God I’ve traumatized him for life! Here he is humiliated in front of his class mates, his mother with her wild bed head hair and trashed out van. How will he ever live this down? I’ll have to pay for years of therapy! I just want to pull him back in the car and home school him until collage.

Turns out he is cracking up…rain running down his face. He thinks the whole thing is funny, that’s my boy…he’s just like his mom. Thank God because I could never home school and can’t afford the therapy.

I blow him a kiss, yell “Love you kid,” crank the wheel, run over the forgotten Starbucks cup and speed off…almost sideswiping the jack ass who tried to sneak around me.

I hate this weather!


8 comments:

Bethany@ImperfectMom May 26, 2010 at 12:14 PM  

LOL-sounds just like my van! We've been lucky with the weather in Indy-high 80's! I love it.

Tracy May 26, 2010 at 2:03 PM  

Oh, I have sooooo been there!

Denise D.,  May 26, 2010 at 4:17 PM  

Michelle, I can always count on your blog for a laugh. When I've had a rough week, your blog cheers me up by making me laugh. By the way, I heard that if you belly laugh 15 minutes a day that you can boost your immune system. Girl, you just gave me a huge boost, no more colds thanks to you. Hahahahahahahahah!

Blasé May 26, 2010 at 5:17 PM  

Rain rain go away, come again another day....or something like that.

Mimi May 26, 2010 at 6:32 PM  

The last time I picked up my son at school in my PJ's (I was sick) our van died. I had to get out & find someone to jump us.

No bra, sock monke PJ's & big boots. My son forbade me from going to his school like that ever again!

Lloyd May 26, 2010 at 7:03 PM  

I really enjoyed reading the posts on your blog. I would like to invite you to my blog. God bless, Lloyd

Marlene May 26, 2010 at 9:15 PM  

*snort*

Oh....please put that middle finger away. It was 92 and hotter than hades here. I think I was wishing for 51. Ok, not really. I lied.

Kat May 27, 2010 at 11:39 AM  

Haha! That kid is priceless. I love that he was laughing. Very cool kid. :)

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