>> Saturday, July 3, 2010
On Emily’s 25th birthday she got into a car with a intoxicated driver, never to see her two amazing children, husband, or wonderful family again.
This blog became part of my grief process, helping me deal with her loss though blissful writing, however it was not always so blissful. During her three month struggle for life, I kept a journal that acted as a punching bag of sorts, inking out my rage, pain, and fear. Rage at the driver, Pain of her loss, Fear & heartbreak for her Family.
As part of this process, I’m posting what I read at her service. Emily is gone, but what she gave lives deep in my soul. Rage, pain and fear will not replace the Joy she has filled me with.
I am so grateful for Emily in my life.
Sometime God puts people in your life that you would least suspect. I would never have foreseen us becoming so close. But God had other plans.
I ended up in the bible study Emily hosted in her home….around the corner from my home.
I feel sorry for the husbands in that study as everyone of us gals ended up pregnant over the first year, 5 of us. Don’t drink the water at the Buck’s!
You know nothing bonds woman together more then crazy hormones and ultrasound photos!
So with walks around the neighborhood, shopping, play dates, and lots girl talk.. I was blessed with getting to know Emily and the true Magical person she was.
Emily never held back when it came to letting you know how she felt about you. She was like a cheerleader in that way. Often telling me that I was an Awesome mom, wife.. friend.
At our last bible study, the Wednesday before the accident. The question was asked in the study...
“Who has inspired you in your spiritual growth,” Emily's cheerful reply was “well Michelle has”.. my comeback... “oh your just saying that cause I’m sitting here”… she then told me to shut up and tossed a baby toy at me.
She never held back a hug, a joke, a smile, or a tear. Emily just didn’t hold back and she shard it with everyone. She loved life!
So having learned that from her…I’m going to honor her life by spreading her Joy in my own life. By Hugging that neck squeezing that shoulder, sharing that smile and even that tear. Her Joy, her love will live in me always.
Your soul can go naked with her. In Loving Memory
She seems to ask you to put on nothing, only to be what you really are.
When you are with her, you do not have to be on your guard.
She understands those contradictions in your nature that cause others to misjudge you.
With her you breathe freely – you can avow your little vanities and envies and absurdities and in opening them up to her they are dissolved on the white ocean of her loyalty.
She understands. You can weep with her, laugh with her, pray with her- through and underneath it all she sees, knows and loves you.
A friend, I repeat, is one with whom you dare to be yourself.
~ Emily Ann Buck~
May 9 1984 - July 3 2009