Blue Dragonflys

>> Saturday, July 3, 2010

One year ago today, a dear friend of mine lost her hold on this life. After almost three months in a coma, brought on by traumatic brain injury, she left us surrounded by her loved ones, gracefully landing in the arms of Jesus.

On Emily’s 25th birthday she got into a car with a intoxicated driver, never to see her two amazing children, husband, or wonderful family again.

This blog became part of my grief process, helping me deal with her loss though blissful writing, however it was not always so blissful. During her three month struggle for life, I kept a journal that acted as a punching bag of sorts, inking out my rage, pain, and fear. Rage at the driver, Pain of her loss, Fear & heartbreak for her Family.

As part of this process, I’m posting what I read at her service. Emily is gone, but what she gave lives deep in my soul. Rage, pain and fear will not replace the Joy she has filled me with.

Emily’s service

I am so grateful for Emily in my life.

Sometime God puts people in your life that you would least suspect. I would never have foreseen us becoming so close. But God had other plans.

I ended up in the bible study Emily hosted in her home….around the corner from my home.
I feel sorry for the husbands in that study as everyone of us gals ended up pregnant over the first year, 5 of us. Don’t drink the water at the Buck’s!
You know nothing bonds woman together more then crazy hormones and ultrasound photos!

So with walks around the neighborhood, shopping, play dates, and lots girl talk.. I was blessed with getting to know Emily and the true Magical person she was.

Emily never held back when it came to letting you know how she felt about you. She was like a cheerleader in that way. Often telling me that I was an Awesome mom, wife.. friend.

At our last bible study, the Wednesday before the accident. The question was asked in the study...
 “Who has inspired you in your spiritual growth,”  Emily's cheerful reply was “well Michelle has”.. my comeback... “oh your just saying that cause I’m sitting here”… she then told me to shut up and tossed a baby toy at me.

Well the truth is Emily inspired me!

Her giving spirit and love for others, the grace she carried naturally. She pulled a warmth out from deep inside my heart. Emily was like an old soul with a great wonder in her eyes, But with the innocents of a child that didn’t know the ugliness of the world. She was free of the bitterness so many seem to carry. A bitterness that holds us back from telling those close, I love you. Her heart held no shame. I saw that Emily filled herself with up with the love of her children, family, and friends. She did it by giving her love without end or conditions.

She never held back a hug, a joke, a smile, or a tear. Emily just didn’t hold back and she shard it with everyone. She loved life!

So having learned that from her…I’m going to honor her life by spreading her Joy in my own life. By Hugging that neck squeezing that shoulder, sharing that smile and even that tear. Her Joy, her love will live in me always.

A Friend

What is a friend? I’ll tell you.

It’s it a person with whom you dare to be yourself.

Your soul can go naked with her.

She seems to ask you to put on nothing, only to be what you really are.

When you are with her, you do not have to be on your guard.

You can say what you think, so long as it is genuinely you.

She understands those contradictions in your nature that cause others to misjudge you.

With her you breathe freely – you can avow your little vanities and envies and absurdities and in opening them up to her they are dissolved on the white ocean of her loyalty.

She understands. You can weep with her, laugh with her, pray with her- through and underneath it all she sees, knows and loves you.

A friend, I repeat, is one with whom you dare to be yourself.

-author unknown

                                                   In Loving Memory

                                           ~ Emily Ann Buck~     
                                                May 9 1984 - July 3 2009


Cheryl D. July 3, 2010 at 10:24 AM  

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had no idea that your wonderfully funny blog had such a sad beginning.

I just can't wrap my brain around such a young mom with young kids dying like that. I'm sure it's much rougher for you (obviously).

Loss does get easier with time, but it can take many years. Hang in there!

-K July 3, 2010 at 11:19 AM  

Very sweet dedication. Love your blog. I'm now following you back.


Mimi July 3, 2010 at 1:29 PM  

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. What a touching & beautiful tribute. I'll keep you, her family & the driver in my prayers.

middle child July 3, 2010 at 3:31 PM  

Sorry about the loss your friend. You were fortunate to have known each other. I saw a comment on someone's blog and that's why I'm here. Re: firecrackers. When our big black lab hears ANY kind of a boom that might even be remotely related to thunder or fireworks, she runs upstairs to hide under the desk in our office. The strange thing is,..she's a hunting dog!

Leanne July 3, 2010 at 9:37 PM  

M - I thought of you and your friend the minute I woke up this morning (I remember reading about her in your blog and knew this was going to be a hard day for you.) I'm so grateful you are sharing her with all of us in your post today. What you wrote about her was so wonderful. She lives on in you, have peace knowing that, ok? Thinking of you . . .

Marlene July 4, 2010 at 5:37 PM  

Oh CRAP....I just bawled my eyes out. I can't even imagine your loss....much less her family's. How sad...what a short life.

Marlene July 4, 2010 at 5:40 PM  

P.S. Just watched the video you gave me the heads up! Thanks! ;)

Rose July 6, 2010 at 4:43 AM  

just saw your post sorry about your loss i think the blogging was a good way to help you.

Nicole July 6, 2010 at 7:15 AM  

That's just terrible. You are right though, God has plans that we just don't understand or see.

Sunday July 7, 2010 at 2:20 PM  

What an absolutely beautiful and poignant tribute to such a bright light in your life.
I love how you said that she gracefully landed in the arms of Jesus.
Truly, no matter how He chooses to call us home...we are all most at home with Him.

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