In Washington there are no specific laws stipulating the age at which a child can be left home alone...I think I need to take advantage of that more you can really put a lot in a title.

>> Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Why do I take my kids out of the house? You would think I’ve learned my lesson by now.

Like the time I was checking out at Wal-Mart and my 5 year old son starts singing some song he heard on someone else’s radio, cause I only play soft christen music in my car.

Sam: “Honeys got a booty like POW POW POW … Honeys got some boobies like WOW oh WOW! Oh oh ohohoh oh my gosh”

This complete with dance moves and booty shaken.

Oh my gosh is right, but I guess people have come to expect this kind of behavior from kids in Wal-Mart. Super

I should have never taken that kid out in public again. But NOOOOO I have a compulsive need for embarrassment and dirty looks from strangers.

As written in the Bible, if a child is taken into a store, he has to go to the bathroom. This need to pee must happen (according to Jon 24:7) at the furthest possible point from the restrooms and with great urgency. If I’m not mistaken (and of course I am) it reads, “He who has no understanding of a Child’s self-control is foolish and reckless – that is his folly and his shame.”

So today while in the Garden center at Lowes Sammy informs me and the rest of the planet that he has to GO NOW. And where is the Restroom at Lowes, that’s right, on the other side of Lumber clear across the great vast.

Here is where the folly and shame come in. Seems it’s a busy day at the Ladies room, as we wait for a stall to empty Sam explains to me that he is a boy and should use boy’s bathroom, then goes into why he is a boy.

Sam: because I have a dink and tenders…girls don’t have dinks or tenders.

Just super.

When a stall opens up I shoo Sam inside.

Sam: Mom I just got some pee on my shirt...why does it stinks so bad in here.

Super, now I’m trying not to laugh.

Sam: (singing) It’s 3am I’m a little drunk and I need you now…(huge fart)...Holy cow that was a big one!  Mom did you hear that?

Dirty look from strange lady with silly glasses

Me: Wash your hands and let’s go.

Sam: Why do I have to wash my hands, I never wash them at home.

Super Dee Duper.


Michelle July 27, 2010 at 6:04 AM  

Oh my! Why are kids so good at public embarrassment?

Marlene July 27, 2010 at 8:43 AM  

ROFL!!!! Laughed out loud at the "and tenders" part......never heard it called that!! FUNNY!!!

Cheryl D. July 27, 2010 at 9:19 AM  

LOL! That was funny! "According to Jon 24:7" Love it!

Nicole July 27, 2010 at 10:18 AM  

oh Thank God my fiance brought a daughter into my life. But that was a super laugh :)

Blasé July 27, 2010 at 12:25 PM  

ps-Michelle, Robyn was referring to you-know-who, not me. Do you realize that?

Do you still want me to post your comment?

Leanne July 27, 2010 at 4:04 PM  


I can't handle it anymore - you make my belly hurt!!!! (Wait - that whole visual is not pretty - sorry! What I mean to say, is that you make me laugh so hard, my stomach hurts. How's that? Any better?) Thank you for my daily dose of humor!!!

Lynn July 27, 2010 at 7:40 PM always nice and loud and echo-y in there too so that no one could possibly not hear them!

Grace July 27, 2010 at 8:08 PM  

Sadly, I found myself singing along to the words of Oh My Gosh. I know the song because of my son.

Here's the good news: in about 5 years, you'll be thankful for the boys. Because teenage girls will do their very best to kill you or drive you insane.

A Peculiar Person July 28, 2010 at 11:24 AM  

I would like to invite you to visit my blog. I would love to hear your thoughts on my recent posts.

God Bless!

Tgoette July 28, 2010 at 2:34 PM  

Oh my God, that was hilarious! My kids are grown now but your story certainly brought up many memories of when they were little. That was too funny! I love your sense of humor. I'm following! Thanks for the visit!

Mamma has spoken July 28, 2010 at 5:11 PM  

That was way too fun! Thing is just wait, he'll grow up and he won't change. I should know, my sons still do this stuff to me!

Bossy Betty July 28, 2010 at 8:43 PM  

This post was so funny! Ahhhhh.....those tranquilizers are looking better and better, aren't they?

K9friend July 29, 2010 at 12:27 PM  

Oh my goodness! That was funny! Pat's Principle: Kids say the darndest things, and always in public places.


Rose July 31, 2010 at 1:15 PM  

aren't children good comedians?

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