The Ugly truth about my BFF...

>> Saturday, August 21, 2010

There is a reason my BFF has truly been my Best friend forever, since 5th grade. We call it the "first 5th grade" because we both got held back and had to do 5th grade twice, gives you an idea of what kind of friends we are. After 27 years of friendship she is still holding up her end of it and going strong, the following is a pretty typical conversation between us.



Me: (Licking Chili Cheese Fritos dust from my fingers) Tanya I am just so pissed at myself I can’t even stand it anymore, you have NO idea, I just can’t believe it!

Tanya: Really? What’d you do now?

Me: I don’t even want to talk about it...It's just too horid.

Tanya: Then what’d you call me for?

Me: OK OK ...well you know I got this super cute top last summer, and it like fit me really good and I’d get complements on it, you know like ‘wow that top is so cute, you’ve lost more weight’ and stuff like that.

Tanya: Yeah…

Me: Well I have it on right now and I look like a stuck PIG, like an pink over stuffed sausage, I’m so pissed, my gut is rolling over the top of my pants and this shirt has gotten so tight, it looks like I stuffed a tractor tier in there or something, its not a little muffin top it’s a fricking 3 layer cake!

Tanya: You must have shrunk it in the dryer.

Yup, She is a big fat liar...and THAT is what true friends are for…keep you in denial about the pounds that are creeping back on.  But the ugly truth is sitting right here on my lap...

The ugly truth!
A. The painful button mark from my pants as payback for having to hold up my fat ass all day.

B. what would be a cute beauty mark if it wasn't for all the ugly over shadowing it.

C. My belly button that is so deep I could lose a Lego man in it.

D.  Bottom and Top cake layers of flabby stretch marked belly fat.

E. Stark White frosting from years and years of lack of sun light.

F. Top layer of cake, sagging boobies (keeping it clean here so no booby shots and those are my finger tips so stop squinting at the screen boys)

So back to eating less and moving more...but Truth? I'd rather sit on my bum and eat some more icecream.   Its all my BFF's fault for leaving and moving 4 HOURS away, I don't know how its her fault ...but it is.

16 comments:

Mamma has spoken August 21, 2010 at 6:00 PM  

Can't stop laughing......
You are one brave woman showing all the good, bad and ugly of your belly. I blame mine on the kids, that's what they are for, to blame for every little thing that has happen to your body weither it is their fault or not.

Cheryl D. August 21, 2010 at 6:17 PM  

It's good to have BFFs! And your belly looks like a normal one after having kids. Our bodies just change. Wait until you get old like me. Then your body really changes! Yikes!

jackie August 21, 2010 at 7:55 PM  

Ugh, don't even talk about the belly. I went shopping for clothes today, and it's no fun anymore. I can't find anything that fits me right. Oh, and I get that button mark too :(

loveable_homebody August 21, 2010 at 11:39 PM  

You may need a new pair of pants, but that's no reason to insult yourself! Enjoy those Fritos. She sounds like a great friend. What you two have is so special!

Leanne August 22, 2010 at 8:08 AM  

1) you did NOT just post a picture of your button, did you? Seriously???

2) YOU CRACK ME UP!!!! The "licking chili cheese fritos dust from my fingers"... SOOOO FUNNY.

3) I love you just the way you are!!!! ;)

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy August 22, 2010 at 8:28 AM  

Let me just say ... at least your stomach isn't marred by stretch marks like mine is. It looks like a saggy lump of bread dough that a tiger clawed the crap out of. Seriously.

But how freaky is this: I have the EXACT SAME beauty mark by my bellybutton! We're twins!

Nicole August 22, 2010 at 12:28 PM  

Oh HolyHell.. you just killed me with this post! Hilarious - a 3 layer cake! LOL Well.. I bet I can beat you - I am sure I have a 5 tier ;-)

PS - Thanks for following. I am sooo glad I am following you!

Kat August 22, 2010 at 12:34 PM  

Yep! That is what friends are for! :)

Ruth August 22, 2010 at 1:53 PM  

LOL...BFFs thats what we do!!

Mimi August 22, 2010 at 3:47 PM  

You made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants. Thanks I needed that today.

And hooray for having such a great friend after all these years.

Laura August 23, 2010 at 7:34 AM  

I laughed so hard reading this post that the tears came down my face and my nicely curled and mascara'ed eyelashes have gone straight! I do love starting my day with a good laugh, so thank you!

Marlene August 23, 2010 at 10:31 AM  

Thanks for the laugh out loud giggles today!!!

Green Monkey August 23, 2010 at 2:08 PM  

:))))))))))))) you've got a great friend there!

K9friend August 24, 2010 at 4:18 PM  

If mirrors were banned, I'd be beautiful!

Pat
www.critteralley.blogspot.com

Peggy K August 29, 2010 at 4:21 AM  

Wish I could say that I "laughed my ass off", but there's way too much there to even think that was possible. Thanks for the Sunday morning giggles!!

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