Swiss Cheese face

>> Thursday, September 9, 2010

With Kindergarten starting tomorrow I drug my very reluctant 5 year old out to get his hair cut. When we walked into the local Perfect look I was shocked to see who would be taking scissors to my son, I almost turn tail and ran out the door mumbling something about looking for the post office.
This young gal working at Perfect look had a far from Perfect look, she had metal sticking out all over her face, sporting one of them bull like rings through her nose and metal studs in her cheeks where dimples would be if she hadn't killed them. She also had tattoos running up her arms and crazy multi colored hair. Not wanting to be judgmental and look un-cool, I gave her a big smiled and let her know Sam would be getting a trim, my smile was not returned, I guess the face jewelry makes smiling difficult.

“Mom that lady is creepy,” Sam whispers to me as we follow her back to the chair, Yes, I thought, Yes she is.

Living near and working in Portland most of my life I’m not put off by lots of pricings and tattoos, Portland is famous for being “Weird” after all. 
I have 6 pricings *in my ears folks, ears!* and a tattoo myself, I’ve even always wanted to get my nosed priced, so who am I to cast stones. But I couldn’t help think if you’re going to be working with the public you should probably try and avoid scaring the crap out of small children, hell she scared me.

I know I’m getting old because I really wanted to tell her, “You have such a pretty face why did you want to mess it up with all that metal.” But I kept my mouth shut and just kept smiling like a moron.

As she was working on Sam’s hair, he sat trying to avoid looking at her for fear she would give him the Weegee stare and kill him.  I, on the other hand could not help staring at her...I noticed the area around her cheek impalements looked raw and sore and you could see into the hole in her face. This made me think what having holes in your face would be like.

Having a Swiss cheese face can’t be easy, think of all the things you can’t do, like whistle or blow bubbles with chewing gum, could you even suck a milkshake though a straw. *OMG I'd die before giving up milkshakes* You couldn’t blow up a balloon; you might shoot one of them studs out of your face and hurt someone.
And what about leakage?  Would you wake up in the morning with drool running out of your face holes? 
You can’t be a happy person if the simple act of smiling and laughing cause’s pain or do you think punching holes through your face muscles makes you smileplegic?

She didn’t smile the entire time she cut Sam’s hair, in the end she completely messed it up, when I asked her to take more off the top... she took more off the back. I was too afraid to ask her to fix it, tipped her four bucks and took my little Dorothy Hamill home. When my husband told me to take him back and have them fix his “dorkcut” I told him I couldn’t because I was scared she would use him in a Wicken sacrifice or something.


Maybe she was trying to give him that "Justin Beeper" (whatever) cut, but if you think I'm going to be blow drying, flat ironing and styling a 5 year olds hair every morning you're nuts! 


Blasé September 9, 2010 at 4:28 PM  

I never went to Kindergarten. I think it scarred me for life. I wasn't breast-fed either.

Ain't nothin' wrong with that boy's haircut.

Mamma has spoken September 9, 2010 at 4:57 PM  

Sorry but I didn't see much difference between the before and after :o/
But I'm laughing because you tipped her! Not only did you tip her but you tipped her 4 bucks!!!
Bring him over to my house, I'll do the hair cut for free! ;o)

middle child September 9, 2010 at 7:37 PM  

I actually LOVED his hair before, but if you were my daughter and you were unhappy with the cut (and it was a bad haircut) I would have been glad to come over and fix it. It might be uncomfortable, but next time you want a different "stylist", server, doctor or anyone like that, go ahead and ask. If it's costing you money, you have every right.

Mimi September 9, 2010 at 8:29 PM  

I remember some bad cuts my boys got. I usually just did the exact same thing. Try going to a stylist at a different salon. Tell them that you just want a "fix it" cut and they usually will charge you less than their regular rate.

Hugs & love,

Cheryl D. September 9, 2010 at 9:13 PM  

Well, your son looks adorable! His cut is awful though! I have no clue what I'm doing, and I think I could have cut it better. It's not even...well, even! It does look like a style for a girl. You should probably just eat the money and go to another place where they'll cut it properly.

Marlene September 10, 2010 at 4:55 AM  

Your son is adorable!!! I am laughing my ass off here that you tipped her $4, though!!! Tell you what, let me at him, and tip me $4....I can do just as well as she did! HA HA HA HA HA. I think one of her piercings must have went through some of her brain cells. She sounds like such a treat!

Brittney September 10, 2010 at 9:45 AM  

lol well if shes gonna be dealing with kids maybe she should dress a little more professionally. I am all for piercings & tatts in the workplace i dont think they should be discriminated against but I think there are times/places where maybe you shouldnt ya know! However I wouldnt have tipped her and I would have made someone fix it lol! hes a cutie though!!

Makeupthoughts September 10, 2010 at 10:07 AM  


Thanks so much for stopping by my blog...I am now following you too:)))


Bossy Betty September 10, 2010 at 10:25 AM  

I have students who look like this and often they turn out to be the most interesting students in the class. However, I would not give them scissors and place my head under their hands.....

Jo Brielyn September 10, 2010 at 10:49 AM  

Very cute kid, not so great haircut. :)
Thanks for stopping by Creative Kids Ideas. I love your site and am now following.

Sara September 10, 2010 at 1:15 PM  

Thanks for stopping by. I'm now following you back. Have a great weekend!!

Mommy Minded September 10, 2010 at 2:04 PM  

Thank you SO MUCH for stopping by Mommy Minded! I am so glad you joined the family!
I am following back and wishing you a happy weekend!

Christmas Countdown Giveaways!

Nanny Goats In Panties September 10, 2010 at 5:31 PM  

Funny thing about hair, if it doesn't look exactly like you want, you think it stinks, but I'm looking at it and I think it looks cute. You're just looking through swiss cheese face colored glasses. Or something like that. :)

Kat September 10, 2010 at 8:29 PM  

Well crap. If you lived closer I'd have you come over and I'd cut the little cuties hair myself. My boys love it when I cut their hair (their freaks) and I even vaccuum them when I'm done. No, not the floor (okay, that too) but I actually vaccuum my kids. They love it.

Anyway, I am so used to freaky looking people now. My bro is a tatto artist (he actually used to live in Portland- HA!) so he is covered in tattoos as are all his friend. ;) But they are all friendly and would definitely smile and be sweet while cutting such a cute little boy's hair. I don't care how a person looks so long as they are friendly. :)

funfunfun September 10, 2010 at 9:03 PM  

Your son is a cutie but I am still laughing that you actually tipped her at all but $4!
Following from FFF...would love to have you follow back!

Kelley September 10, 2010 at 9:33 PM  

I think your son is adorable!!! I love his hair cut! I really do. Your story made me smile. :)

I am following you back from FFF. Thanks for visiting my silly blog!

Julie Jabbers September 11, 2010 at 4:08 PM  

OU game is over and I've just did my good deed and answered some tagged questions from a blogger friend.

Guess what, I linked your blog, you're welcome, hop you get some new traffic, BUT... it requires you to answer my
highly intelligent questions!


Cheryl D. September 12, 2010 at 11:57 AM  

Pop on over to my blog! I have something for you!

Kimberly September 13, 2010 at 2:21 PM  

LOL! Thanks so much for following and I'm following you back! Your son is adorable!

Leanne September 14, 2010 at 4:52 PM  

OH DEAR!!!! LOL!!! I have to say that the photo (both before and after) are aDORable!!! Now, as far as the piercings ... could you imagine her when she's 80? Holy cow. I've got a few holes in my ears ... and always wanted the nose ring, too. Truthfully, I thought a short stem rose on my breast would be fun (and would become a LONG stem with childbirth and age), but never did it. Ah, well!!! Maybe in my next life! Love this post - it made me laugh so!!!

Cindi aka Ericksoc September 25, 2010 at 8:43 AM  

Too funny! I can't imagine having that many piercings and thinking people would take me seriously. I guess that's judgmental - I'm like you, I do accept everyone for who they are, but people put their adornments out there to tell you who they are, don't they? Anyway, I've wanted to get my nose pierced for a while (I only have pierced ears and no tattoos...I've very plain, so that's a HUGE change). I've discovered your blog through Leanne...I'm so glad to have found your blog!

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