>> Wednesday, December 29, 2010
When my cousin Rainy asked me if she was “showing too much cleavage,” during a conversation we were having on Christmas Eve, I had no idea what she was talking about.
“No I’m not, are you crazy woman, why would I be looking at your boobs?” I said shaking my head and giving her the ‘you’re a moron’ Look.
“Yes you are, see you’re doing it now! Is this shirt too low cut? Should I put on a cami? Is it tacky?” She asked honestly concerned about the vast ravine plunging down between her fleshy white (all but snow covered) mounds bursting out of her V-neck.
“Well Yeah, I’m looking now! You keep talking about them, how am I suppose to NOT look at your boobs when you keep pointing THEM out. Oh and by the way I was looking at you’re butterfly necklace before NOT you’re boobs!” I snapped envies over her ample Ta Ta’s.
“Okay whatev Michelle, but really is this shirt too low should I change it?” She asked again overly concerned about her blessings.
I admit this is not the first time I have been accused of boob ogling.
o·gle /ˈoʊgəl/ [oh-guhl]
verb, o·gled, o·gling,
1. to look at amorously, flirtatiously, or impertinently.
2. to eye; look or stare at
My good friend Andrea asked me once during a conversation if her bra was showing. Guess I was ogling her boobies and she just thought she was flashing her under-roo’s at me, nope Andrea your friends just got some issues. (Like you didn't already know that)
Another time I could swear my neighbor across the street accused me of looking at her boobs under her breath once…kind of passive aggressive like. I couldn’t be sure what she said exactly and at the time I thought I must of heard her wrong, but in my defense she does wear a lot of low cut tank tops.
But I know one thing for sure I. AM. NOT. looking at their boobies darn it!!
To tell you the truth all three of the above mention woman are very blessed in this area, so maybe…just maybe they get this all the time…you know the “hey fella my eyes are up here” kind of business. So it could be just their own insecurity’s or even their own ego thinking everyone is always talking to their chest…HA! That must be it... I’m not a perv! Phew…I'm a MAN...what...wait... Scratch that!!
OR….Maybe I do have boob envy…for shame.
Hi my name is Michelle, I’m a boob ogler….and I need help.
I kid; I really have know idea what I’m doing when I’m doing it. Its one of them subconscious things, ya know. I have problems with eye contact when I’m talking to someone, my eyes will drop from their face and apparently land on their chest when I’m thinking.
I can’t think about what someone is saying to me while I’m staring at their face…I just can’t…I’ve tried…don’t work. I think about what I see on their face…a patch of dry skin…clumpy mascara…moles…scares. It’s all part of my self diagnosed autism, when my gaze drops I don’t “see” boobies, I don’t “see” anything but inside my head, that’s what happens when you’re a visual person.
This is not a problem when I'm talking to a man, unless they have a gravy stain on their shirt then that's all I can think about. But with woman...I guess I’m seen as some kind of perverted lesbo, I don’t know, no wonder why my neighbor stopped talking to me…I hit on her too many times.
P.S. If one day we are having a conversation and I seem to be looking at your boobies... just know that I'm not...I'm really listening to what your saying and trying not to ogle at the booger in your nose.
P.S.S. What do you want to bet I'll get a ton of "Google hits" and "p*rn spam" from this post...pervs.