>> Tuesday, February 1, 2011
I stomp up the stairs and slam my bedroom door in a huff; I’ve had it and needed to find some peace before my kids find themselves locked in the crawl space under the house.
Breathe Michelle…breathe. I tell myself I’m over reacting, knowing this would get better.
It gets worse before it gets better they tell you…Its no ones fault they tell you…Just take care of yourself they say. But all I can think is… How the Hell do you take care of yourself when there are so many other people to take care of! And How much WORSE can it get!!??
Ok maybe I’m being dramatic…maybe throwing myself on the bed and turning the TV way up is not productive and a bit childish…Pity party for one!
I can’t go in to detail about what I’m dealing with, or not dealing with for that matter, lets just say it ran over me like a crazy train over a month ago. I’m on this crazy train and I can’t get off and at this point I have little of no control over this mess. And you know us woman don't do well when we lose all control. I know I'm talking in code here and I'm sorry but trust me you don't want to know...sheesh I don't want to know.
So I sit on my unmade bed and think of running away, we all do that right, think of packing up and taking off, we’ve seen it done in the movies and I even know someone that did just that. But in the end it seems they live a life filled with guilt and regret in doing so. Huh?…that doesn’t sound all that bad…little guilt and regret is looking pretty dang good about now. I’d take the kids of course even though they are why I find myself bouncing my skull off my head board right now.
Don’t get my wrong…I’m not going anywhere…but its fun to dream right?
Anyway I hate packing.
For now I’ll do what I can to find comfort….eat pray sulk.