It's always darkest before the dawn

>> Monday, May 2, 2011

Things are not always what they seem.


I awoke at 3am this morning to someone or something

BANGING on our house.

BAM BAM BAM BAM

I had watched "Black Swan" before bed by myself...so my mind was in a bad way.

BAM BAM BAM BAM

My head is spinning in the darkness

I jump out of bed...heart thumping

I'm so confused mind raising, do I pull pants on or go down stairs in my underwear?  do I put on a bra or just flop around?

BAM BAM ...

I hear the front door open...there is no time for pants...

I flop down the dark hall

look down the stairs

and there stands two large dark figures

"what's going on...who is that!!"

one of the men starts up the stairs after me

I have no pants on I'm going to die in ugly underwear...I'm freaking out!!

the other yells something I can't hear over the blood rushing in my ears

I step back...trying to get a grip on whats about to happen...Oh God...Oh God!

Do I run and call the cops? Do I scream? God I wish I had a bra on!! 

I stand FROZEN.

A 5'8" 180lb man is running up at me and I understand...
I'm going to have to fight!  Oh my God Oh my God! 

I ball up my hands ready to push him back down the stairs to protect my sleeping children.

The man looks up and me and grins...through the darkness I can now see, its not a man but my 13 year old son.

I'll kill him later...My sweet son.

I swallow my heart and look down the stairs

the second figure is my husband and he's pissed yelling at the dog

I pull my underwear out of my crack and turn back to bed.

Seems our 3 year old locked the storm door on him.

When our mind is in a bad place it's hard to see what's really standing in the shadows.

We can...

1)Freak out

2)Freeze up

3)or Fight

Or maybe all three over time.


When we endure hardship we can get stuck in the Darkness.  The Darkness can suck us dry, leaving us hurting and confused.
Educating ourselves and getting support is the first step in seeing through the darkness into the light.
Then we must fight, to save our ourselves our children our loved ones.
God allows us to walk through fire to be shaken to our core.  Why?
I believe it's because something needs to be shaken, shifted, burned off. 
When our mind is in a bad place we can't see for the darkness.
Has God been shifting you, what bonds need burnt off?

8 comments:

Marlene May 2, 2011 at 4:21 PM  

Ha ha ha ha!!! I haven't laughed so loud all day!!! LOVE it!!! you have a way with words.

Bethany@ImperfectMom May 2, 2011 at 4:58 PM  

You are back! I've missed you. The dark times suck, but that's when growth occurs. Darkness lasts for a little while, but joy comes in the morning.

Cheryl D. May 2, 2011 at 9:08 PM  

Wow, stranger! I missed reading your blog! I hope you were flopping around too much! LOL!

Mamma has spoken May 3, 2011 at 4:50 AM  

Sorry I'm laughing because here you are in what could be a serious situation and you're worried about what underwear you are wearing. Well at least you were wearing them.

BECKY May 4, 2011 at 6:48 PM  

Hi Michelle! I've missed you. This was such a wonderful blog post. First part was both funny and scary, and I'm obviously happy to know it turned out well. I really enjoyed the part about being in the darkness. Education and support definitely are the answers. I'm glad you're back and hope you're also back to being Blissful! Come stop by my blog when you get a chance, too...'cause you know, I'm Following My Bliss!

Leanne May 11, 2011 at 7:18 PM  

Oh, sweetie! How could you have posted this a week ago and I am just getting to it now! For SHAME!!! Holy cow - this one was a tad scary (in the beginning). I almost had an accident! (Don't do that to me, ok? Although the flapping made me laugh outloud.)

Ok, so now that we're past that - I miss you like crazy - pray for you all the time - and think of you when I'm not praying for you. That's a little stalker like, isn't it? Ah, well. Sorry. Hope you are ok. Sending you positive thoughts and peace, my dear.

Chantelle May 14, 2011 at 12:08 PM  

I thoroughly enjoy your writing! I read "About the Blissful babbler" & I think it's beautiful what you're doing! I agree that God is always 'shifting' us...I believe He prepared me & tested me through hardships & dark times...only to come out the otherside stronger and closer to Him.~CC
I'm not Crazy! I'm Bipolar.
http://notcrazyimbipolar.blogspot.com/

Jackson L May 15, 2011 at 6:35 PM  

THis is comedy gold. It was so well written and very profound. Thoroughly enjoyed this.

Much love,

Jackson L.
www.jackson-quade.blogspot.com

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