>> Monday, May 2, 2011
Things are not always what they seem.
I awoke at 3am this morning to someone or something
BANGING on our house.
BAM BAM BAM BAM
I had watched "Black Swan" before bed by myself...so my mind was in a bad way.
BAM BAM BAM BAM
My head is spinning in the darkness
I jump out of bed...heart thumping
I'm so confused mind raising, do I pull pants on or go down stairs in my underwear? do I put on a bra or just flop around?
BAM BAM ...
I hear the front door open...there is no time for pants...
I flop down the dark hall
look down the stairs
and there stands two large dark figures
"what's going on...who is that!!"
one of the men starts up the stairs after me
I have no pants on I'm going to die in ugly underwear...I'm freaking out!!
the other yells something I can't hear over the blood rushing in my ears
I step back...trying to get a grip on whats about to happen...Oh God...Oh God!
Do I run and call the cops? Do I scream? God I wish I had a bra on!!
I stand FROZEN.
A 5'8" 180lb man is running up at me and I understand...
I'm going to have to fight! Oh my God Oh my God!
I ball up my hands ready to push him back down the stairs to protect my sleeping children.
The man looks up and me and grins...through the darkness I can now see, its not a man but my 13 year old son.
I'll kill him later...My sweet son.
I swallow my heart and look down the stairs
the second figure is my husband and he's pissed yelling at the dog
I pull my underwear out of my crack and turn back to bed.
Seems our 3 year old locked the storm door on him.
When our mind is in a bad place it's hard to see what's really standing in the shadows.
Or maybe all three over time.
When we endure hardship we can get stuck in the Darkness. The Darkness can suck us dry, leaving us hurting and confused.
Educating ourselves and getting support is the first step in seeing through the darkness into the light.
Then we must fight, to save our ourselves our children our loved ones.
God allows us to walk through fire to be shaken to our core. Why?
I believe it's because something needs to be shaken, shifted, burned off.
When our mind is in a bad place we can't see for the darkness.
Has God been shifting you, what bonds need burnt off?