What the Puck did you just say?

>> Monday, May 23, 2011

My sweet daughter Maggie just told me I was, "Full of crap!"
No she did not learn this from me!  What kind of parent do you think I am! 

Wow judgemental much?

She learned the saying "full of crap" from one of her 3 big brothers I'm sure, who may or may not have over heard me telling their father that. 
Which certainly can't be entirely my fault because...
1) Their father is often full of crap!
2) Who could possibly keep track of four kids at all times?

HELLO I'm not Nanny McPhee!

Yes, I guess you could argue that as a parent I should watch my mouth at all times and that would be far easier.  But whats the fun in that?

I waited all these years to become an adult and do adult stuff like cuss only to have kids and have to watch my mouth again!
Forget that, after all the soap I ate as a kid I earned the right to cuss Damnit!

Come now I'm not that bad, I have toned it down a lot.  

When Maggie was 2 I thought she was really into toy ships because she talked about them a lot.

She'd drop her tipsy cup ..."Ship."
She'd break her color crayon..."Oh Ship!"
She'd stub her toe... "Ship! Ship! Ship!"

Well you might misunderstand her meaning and take if for something else so I don't say "Ship" anymore or anything that could be misunderstood as "ship"....see good mommy. 

And I sure in the hell don't ever say "Tuck" or "Fruck" or "duck"  cuz that would be just nucking futs!  

But we do have a dog named "Buck" So if you should over hear my daughter yelling something that rhymes with "puck"..she's just calling the dog....
and not repeating what she overheard her mommy say when her mommy saw the cost of gas last week. 
Maggie can still be a little hard to understand sometimes.  So your understanding and not your judgement would be greatly appreciated.

I do try really hard to raise good kids, so when my now darling little 3 year old tells me I'm "full of Crap" it makes me sad. 

Not because she said the word "crap"...
But because she's right about me being full of it!

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It's always darkest before the dawn

>> Monday, May 2, 2011

Things are not always what they seem.


I awoke at 3am this morning to someone or something

BANGING on our house.

BAM BAM BAM BAM

I had watched "Black Swan" before bed by myself...so my mind was in a bad way.

BAM BAM BAM BAM

My head is spinning in the darkness

I jump out of bed...heart thumping

I'm so confused mind raising, do I pull pants on or go down stairs in my underwear?  do I put on a bra or just flop around?

BAM BAM ...

I hear the front door open...there is no time for pants...

I flop down the dark hall

look down the stairs

and there stands two large dark figures

"what's going on...who is that!!"

one of the men starts up the stairs after me

I have no pants on I'm going to die in ugly underwear...I'm freaking out!!

the other yells something I can't hear over the blood rushing in my ears

I step back...trying to get a grip on whats about to happen...Oh God...Oh God!

Do I run and call the cops? Do I scream? God I wish I had a bra on!! 

I stand FROZEN.

A 5'8" 180lb man is running up at me and I understand...
I'm going to have to fight!  Oh my God Oh my God! 

I ball up my hands ready to push him back down the stairs to protect my sleeping children.

The man looks up and me and grins...through the darkness I can now see, its not a man but my 13 year old son.

I'll kill him later...My sweet son.

I swallow my heart and look down the stairs

the second figure is my husband and he's pissed yelling at the dog

I pull my underwear out of my crack and turn back to bed.

Seems our 3 year old locked the storm door on him.

When our mind is in a bad place it's hard to see what's really standing in the shadows.

We can...

1)Freak out

2)Freeze up

3)or Fight

Or maybe all three over time.


When we endure hardship we can get stuck in the Darkness.  The Darkness can suck us dry, leaving us hurting and confused.
Educating ourselves and getting support is the first step in seeing through the darkness into the light.
Then we must fight, to save our ourselves our children our loved ones.
God allows us to walk through fire to be shaken to our core.  Why?
I believe it's because something needs to be shaken, shifted, burned off. 
When our mind is in a bad place we can't see for the darkness.
Has God been shifting you, what bonds need burnt off?

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thank you for reading

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